Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I feel officially grown up

Yesterday was my 35th birthday and, thank you for asking :) , I had a really nice day except for the fact that it was my first birthday without a card from either my dad or mom. 

Now for you to understand the situation with my mom requires a very complicated, old and long story which I have no intention of boring you with apart from saying that it all started when I was 17, so as much as I mention it, it is long dealt with and I am actually very accepting of the situation. It has only entered my thoughts because of my dad. 

If you have followed my posts then you will know that my dad had a stroke at the start of the year. 

He is doing fantastically well, I am amazed by his progress, and thankfully he is now back at his home.  Other than requiring his shopping/finances sorted he is pretty much looking after himself on a day to day basis; though he is still struggling with his speech and thought processes.  Everytime he has an appointment, a food delivery or event(including my birthday!) I am writing it on the Classic Cars calendar hanging in his kitchen and he is, so far, managing and has not missed anything.

I nearly didn't go and see him because I thought it would really upset me if he didn't have any understanding that it was my birthday.  But after having had a wonderful, non-rushed, pub lunch with just my hubby (bliss, and I actually don't remember the last time that happened!) we decided  as we had some time before collecting children from school to pop and see him. 

Now don't get me wrong I did not expect a birthday card or gift from my dad, but I was hoping that when he saw me that he would give me a hug because he had seen the date on his calendar.

No hug. No 'happy birthday' greeting attempt. And I didn't remind him as I did not want to risk upsetting him. I am really glad we made the effort though as I was greeted with him communcating to me that his central heating wasn't working; which meant his meter had run out of credit.  So hubby and I raced to collect his gas card, raced to the shop for credit (added lots this time to make sure this doesn't happen again!), stopped to collect children and went back to see my dad.  He loved seeing his grandchildren, it always perks him up, and now he has heating again so he won't freeze.  And I realised it didn't matter to me that my dad had 'forgotten'* my birthday, it was enough to see him.

I am amazed that I wasn't upset or emotional and that I was just pleased to be able to help my dad and see him enjoy his grandchildren. In fact I was more disapointed over a bunch of  broken flowers from someone else entirely lol!  (The picture is for dramatic effect only, they weren't quite that bad, but really why did they bother at all??!!)

So I feel that at 35 I have reached adulthood and become a grown up!

*I know that my dad hasn't forgotten out of choice but out of circumstances beyond his control!


  1. I used to take the whole month of June to celebrate my birthday, but since the birth of Elf, my birthdays have become secondary. It's nice when we all get together to celebrate, but far from the wild parties we used to have, we now just have a quiet sedate picnic. I know your circs are different with your dad, but it is a sign of how grown up you are when you don't consider your own birthday as important as it used to be! Happy Birthday by the way x