Phew - since I last found the time to sit down and cathartically splurge I don't feel I have stopped, to the extent where on occasions I have had to remind myself to breathe!
Last Thursday my little girl, who from now on I will refer to as 'Boo' managed to start off my manic run of stress by scaring me nearly to death.
Picture my kitchen; basically fitted cupboards which aren't fitted (but which are fantastic for moving around and trying in new locations to see which works best!) , with no worktops just some very large, and heavy, 60x60cm tiles on the appliances. It isn't actually as bad as it sounds, well it is visually, but as a working kitchen it is fine, it has to be! It has been like this since we moved in 18months ago when realised what was here was that bad that it had to go immediately and what we have now is what we managed before the money ran out!
So what did Boo do? Boo desperately wanted, as is her domestic goddess way, help me prepare the tea. I was having a very busy day and so was rushing, and she was flitting in and out of the kitchen. I knew she wanted to put the cream in the chicken curry I was making but at the moment I needed to put it in she was distracted. So rather than call her to come and help I carried on quickly, and grateful for the peace. A short while later she came through and spotted I had put the cream on the dishwasher, deliberately to be out of her reach. I explained that I had already used the cream and that she could help with the rice instead. Then I was distracted by the phone. Whilst I was less than 2 foot away from her but facing in the opposite direction, my little girl Boo decided that the way to reach the cream was by pulling open the dishwasher door and using it as a step.
Ordinarily, in a fully fitted kitchen, this would not cause a problem other than possibly damaging the dishwasher door but in a half fitted kitchen, Oh My God. The dishwasher fell over on top of her, with the large heavy tile sliding down onto her too and the breadmaker that lives on top of the diswasher, well that was dangling by its plugged in cable just inches above her head.
She was upset and very scared, but probably not as scared as me, and luckily just ended up with a nose bleed, bruised nose, bruised forehead and a chipped front tooth. It could have been so much worse. Inside the dishwasher were some very sharp knives and glasses, I dred to think how bad it could have been. So I spent Thurday evening shaking from the shock of it all and worrying about what might have been. But I she is now fine and was more upset that she may have broken the bread maker (she didn't we used it yesterday!), and that her sock got covered in cream, as did most of the kitchen!
So since recovering from Boo highlighting the urgent need for us to finish our kitchen, not just for asthetical purposes but also for her safety I have mainly been running around after my dad. My dad came home on Friday from rehabilitation following his stroke and I am amazed at how well he is doing but at the same time there are lots of things he is doing which worries me. So I am spending alot of time going around to check on him and doing all his jobs (which I don't want to do but there is no-one else to do them!) whilst my jobs and what I want to do isn't happening, and I'm not sleeping properly because I am worrying about him and my jobs getting behind so then I get more stressed. Looking after two small children and fitting in 3 school runs everyday doesn't help! So a vicious circle. ARRRRG!
But today I have made time to sit down and have a cup of tea, on my own with no children or husband or dad to want or need anything from me and I have decided that enough is enough. I am going to take control and de-stress as it isn't fair on all those around me, or doing any good in my quest to be known by my children as a practically perfect mummy, and anyway I have a kitchen I need to plan and finish!